Funny 50th Birthday Wishes ,Quotes,Messages and Sayings

Funny 50th Birthday Wishes ,Quotes,Messages and Sayings to help wish someone a fabulous 50th birthday! Turning 50 is a milestone but it can be hard to know what to write in a card, so add a silly quote and send them over the hill with a bit of flair!

50th Birthday Wishes ,Quotes,Messages and Sayings For Presents

These “you know you’re 50 when…” messages always make me laugh. They’re funny, but they also ring true, which is slightly terrifying at the same time!

You know you’re 50th Birthday when you’re in an elevator when your favorite song comes on” Anon
You know you’re 50 when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor’s office” Anon

You know you’re 50th Birthday when your back goes out more often than you do” Anon

Birthday wishes for girlfriend

You know you’re 50th Birthday when your back is hairier than your head” Anon

You know you’re 50 when you have a party and the neighbours don’t even realise” Anon

You know you’re 50 when a kid you once babysat is now your lawyer” Anon

Birthday wishes for lover

You know you’re 50 when someone offers you a seat on the bus. And you don’t refuse.”Anon

50th birthday quotes about middle age

Teasing about middle age is almost mandatory at 50th Birthday, and these following quotes are gentle but funny, and sure to bring a laugh.

Middle age is when a man has got a handle on life and life has put handles on his waist”Anon

Old age is like underwear… it creeps up on you” Anon

The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake” Anon

If things get better with age then you’re approaching magnificent” Anon

50th Birthday Quotes by Famous People

Famous people must know what they’re talking about, right? Well here are a few of their pearls of wisdom on the big five-oh. Great to use as the feature message in a card.

Forty is the age of youth. Fifty is the youth of old age” Victor Hugo

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.” T. S. Eliot

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry” Alan Bleasdale

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty” Joan Rivers

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed” Charles Schulz

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old” Mark Twain

As men get older, the toys get more expensive Marvin Davis

Age is not important unless you’re a cheese” Helen Hayes

Happy birthday friend

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter” Mark Twain

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime” John Grier

A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police” Henry Youngman

Middle age is when your age starts showing around your middle” Bob Hope

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else” Ogden Nash

Anonymous 50th Birthday Quotes and Messages

Some more great sayings on turning 50th Birthday. I particularly like the one about eating more cake!

Fifty is an excellent age… if you’re a bottle of wine” Anon

By 50, you acquire a lot of common sense… which is good because your sense of hearing and sight are starting to go” Anon

There are plenty of good things about being 50. Just ask any 80 year old” Anon

When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off” Anon

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake” Anon

If you haven’t grown up by age 50 then you don’t have to” Anon

First Birthday wishes

Fifty is five perfect tens” Anon

FIFTY is only 14 in scrabble” Anon

If you haven’t grown up by age 50, you don’t have to.

The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.

Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.

By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.

Birthday wishes for boss

At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.

50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.

Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.

You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.

You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.

Happy birthday poems

You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.

The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “Sure thing, Gorgeous.’”

You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.

Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.

When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.
Happy Birthday wishes

You’re still hot, but only in flashes.

And those hot flashes? Don’t think of them as menopause. Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.

 

Turning 50th Birthday: Funny Sayings, Group 1

If you haven’t grown up by age 50, you don’t have to.

The best form of birth control for people over 50: nudity.

Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.

By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.

Birthday wishes for friends

At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.

50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.

Turning 50? Laughter is the gift that keeps you in the present.

Short Clean Jokes: What
You Can Expect at 50th Birthday

You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.

You spend more time trimming your nose hair than head hair.

You realize with some irritation that your parents were right about nearly everything.

The street vendor says “Yes, Ma’am” instead of “Sure thing, Gorgeous.’”

You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.

Your high school yearbook is moldy enough to support a thriving colony of algae.

When you look in a full-length mirror, you can see your butt from the front.

You’re still hot, but only in flashes.

And those hot flashes? Don’t think of them as menopause. Think of them as regular short vacations in the tropics.

Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 3

I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
– Wendy Cope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
– Bob Hope

Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
– Janet Periat

After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
– Henry Green

When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything.

– Eric Satie

Funny 50th Birthday
Sayings, Group 4

For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
– Jean Sorensen

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
– Phyllis Diller

Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.
– Melanie White

At 21 you’re finally free to slam down the throttle and see how fast you can go.
At 30 you realize, hey, this thing has a brake pedal too.
By 40, that brake pedal is showing some serious wear.
At 50, let’s face it, you need a brake job.
– Greg Tamblyn

50th Birthday Sayings
Group 5

At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
– Anonymous

50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White

50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
– Greg Tamblyn

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
– Charles M. Schulz

I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
– Janet Periat

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball

50th Birthday Sayings: Group 6

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
– Franklin P. Jones

Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you?
– Melanie White

You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head.
– Melanie White

Now that I’m 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony.
– Greg Tamblyn